We no lowd 2 hav frins no mo.  Dey al wak owt on us, an hat us.  Wen I tri an b hepful dey get mad.  Cuz of me Ms.  Hether had 2 lev werk erly cuz she was makn evey bodis stres an patiense b gon.  At lest dat wat dat Amy girl sad firs.  Den she say it b cuz Ms. Hether ned Mony hep.  We gots fod stams now, som women helth benfit an aso gots owr medi 4 fre.

We mad Ms. Lisha soo mad at us.  She no lik us no mor.  We be bad, bad bad an we was jus tri n 2 hep.  I wis dat I no fel bad bad bad al da tim.  I wis I had ben on herr but now but we ned 2 writ 2 day now afr wat hapn, an we no hav ben on 4 a looon tim cuz of grad u atin' Colege.  We no b a pad memr of Xanga no mor, but if we evr get mony we b agin.

I wen 2 wal mart 2 by tois cuz I b so sad dat we no can hav frins wif owt bein bad bad bad.  I jus got a chek I got n da mal in da ban, an it no go thrw yet, it was at 4:30 an dey no hav da mony yet. So I had 2 lev Wal-mart wif no tois an candy an Pokemon cards an jus by a pepr. :(

I no lik feln dis way an Junebug be achn 2 hurt her sef.  We b tryn 2 hod her down but she b tinkn sins we b lon any way no 1 car.  Wat if she b rite? She b odr den me so she probli nos betr rite.

We lokd up to Ms. Lisha los, but we no car no mor.  She usd a trigr on us an we hat her evn do we use 2 lov her. She brot owt Junebug an bad bad bad memris bowt Crystal an we was bak n 2010 an now wen we se her she lok lik Crystal.  We r losn owr vois 2 moro sins evey bodis sins evey bodis stres an patins wen we no b thr.

by by :'(

~Carissa

So Junebug attacked Tuesday.  She wanted to kill herself and she was planning on doing it Tuesday night after school.  She planned on wrecking the care and making it look like an accident. 

We called Kara and she didn't answer the times we called, we tried to call Felicia but she didn't answer, so we called Tamara who answered her phone.

We gave Tamara Kara's number and Kara Tamara's number.  We checked in with Tamara three times during the course of school and checked in again when we got home.

We had therapy yesterday and Kara wants us to go to a local hospital again that did not allow us any comfort items and though we thought it worked it did not because we are back in the same depressed suicidal place.

Then we found out we have gained 7 pounds.  Instead of 125 we are now 131.  Miranda is seeing herself as fat in the mirror all the time.

I'm out now, I'm Angel, and I have the who gives a fuck attitude like always.

Even though Felicia is upset at us who gives a fuck.  It's inevitable that we are gonna act this way after having an insider want to kill themselves and then checking in over and over. 

We could care less right now about anything, all we are trying to do is keep Junebug's numbness and non feeling to be our ultimate doom...although I don't see why it would be so bad to die, several of the others do.

Think of it this way, if we died we could be up in heaven with Daddy God and a bunch of angel's to comfort us.

However Heather and some others of us refuse to die because we have so much for us.  So we are not a threat.  Junebug was consoled by Kara last night, but Kara got me in trouble because she asked me "How are you doing?" 

I rolled my eyes at her and said "I am not doing good, which you already know.  Why do you always ask that?"

Anyway

I don't give a fuck and I don't need anyone not even Felicia.  Yeah sure she made Carissa, susan, eve and Heather cry, but not me.:)  I could care less about her drama or her attitude she's had toward me today.  She never even called Heather back, who knows she probably never prayed for us.  Anyway pushed another one away, yet still having trouble with Kara.  

The system is in chaos...

Angel *~Pegasusangels23~

Don't mess with me today.  I'll tell you what.  Just so ya'll know I have brown skin, don't think anyone knowed that.  Also I have an attitude, and I'll tell you what I have been out all day, and it's been awful.  Heather just couldn't handle it today.   So Heather went to work all happy go lucky like and stuck a shirt in a friends mailbox that reminded her of that friend.  Ha, it reminded me of that friend to 'specially the Pruuuudent part. :) hehehe Cuz prudent is just a nice way to say dumb, at least it is in my book.  Don't know bout all ya'lls out there.

So Heather was in work all happy go lucky and then this FRIEND got her in trouble because she was trying to transition someone through dropoff.

Heather didn't think nuthin' of it, but I sure did.  I was prepared for the next blow.  It was obvious there was some serious PMSing going on in there.  Lots of drama.  

So then Heather worked really hard trying to get someone to calm down and no matter what she did they wouldn't.  So then she started crying about statistics in a fake whiny voice.

This friend again sticks her nosy nose in the room and tells Heather thats not right, that it's bad.  Then all of the sudden Heather was gone and I was out.  

I am 10 years old and I have a temper, and I tell you what, I didn't pay attention to that friend at all today.  Stupid dummy head treating us like that.  She needs to just leave us the freak alone.

Then if that weren't enough, something Happened and I couldn't call no number about it.  When I brought it up to this Friend, she made it real obvious she didn't want nothing to do with me.  Then when I said something about it possibly disappearing if I rubbed it she got mad at me  cuz someone was in her room that didn't need to know that.  It wasn't like I was loud or whatever, but this darn friend was raggin' on me all day.

One of the teachers told me that what I did was a big no no, and I said:

"I don't care, I want everyone to leave me alone, I'm sick of being ragged on all day!"  

Then this friend called Heathers room and asked me why the door was being banged against.

I said "Yes and we are working on it." then hung up.  

I didn't get no break today.

Then I went straight to Heathers stupid statistics class and sat for 4 hours.  Finally I was driving home and decided I might possibly want to do something I knew I shouldn't.  I ain't posting that on here though, cuz even though I'm 10 I ain't stupid like some people and write about all the bad ideas that could get me in trouble that I have.  (nothing majorly bad mind you.)

Then I was driving the car, and the last time Heather looked down at her speed gauge it said 60.  Then me wanting to do something bad came out, and felt like taking a joy ride cuz I was so depressed and wanted to feel the fastness of the car.  That was until the flashin' lights behind me.  When I seen them I retreated.  Heather came out, saw the cop and was like "I wasn't speeding, surely it's not for me."

Guess what it was.  I was going 16 over the speed limit.  He gave us a ticket.  Heather not knowing what just happened told the cop she wasn't going to fight it, she would pay it, because she probably was speedin'.  She is not so happy at me right now, cuz that darn ticket costs 147 dollars.  

She is even talkin' to Kara tomorrow to see if DID would be a good reason to try to get out of paying it.

I'm so pissed right now I just don't care.  

I hope you all have a great day tomorrow.

Bye 

From Angel -.-